Women! Have you noticed the crisis of masculinity that’s been going on since, ooh, the beginning of time? All around us, men are drinking, fighting, raping and murdering. Over 80 per cent of violent crime is committed by men, rising to a staggering 99 per cent for sexual assaults.
Whatever can we do to stop it? Thankfully, Iain Duncan Smith just has the answer. In a speech given at a fringe event at the Conservative party conference, IDS proposes that all the single ladies offer themselves up as wives.
That’s right, girls. It’s incumbent on each and every one of us to find ourselves some unstable, aggressive, violent, porn-addicted soul and pledge to spend the rest of our lives with them. It’s the only way to stop them hurting others (or at the very least, to keep the hurt behind closed doors).