Old Wives' Tales

Quiz: Do you have a male or female brain?

1. When it comes to remembering birthdays, I …

a. often forget (thankfully my partner remembers for me. She’s amazing like that).
b. often forget (thankfully I’ve set up a series of complex alerts on my work computer, since for some reason I’m not only meant to remember for myself but my partner too).

2. When taking public transport I always …

a. take up as much room as possible in order to get my money’s worth.
b. try to avoid being groped.

3. In a partner I try to look for …

a. someone who won’t laugh at me.
b. someone who won’t kill me.

4. When it approaching difficult technical tasks I …

a. pretend to know what I’m doing in order to avoid embarrassment.
b. pretend not to know what I’m doing in order to avoid embarrassment.

5. My favourite books and films tend to feature …

a. women being killed.
b. women not being killed.

6. My general attitude towards housework is …

a. it’s a pain but I try to do my bit, which makes me a fucking feminist hero.
b. it’s a pain.

7. My negotiating skills at work involve…

a. being open, direct and firm.
b. trying not to look like a bitch by asking for stuff, but also not look like a pathetic pushover by not asking for stuff.

8. The most romantic thing I’ve ever done is …

a. bought some flowers or chocolates or something else of that ilk.
b. suppressed my entire inner life in order to become a mirror reflecting back my partner at several times their actual size.

9. If ever I find myself walking alone in an unfamiliar area I …

a. steadfastly refuse to ask for directions. I’ll get there in the end.
b. clutch my keys very hard in my hand and run through all the scenarios in which people might deem me to have been asking for it.

10. My ideal career would be …

a. millionaire superhero spy.
b. millionaire superhero spy with full-pay maternity benefits, on-site crèche, flexible work allowance for family and eldercare, transparent pay scales and non-rapey CEO.

Mostly As: You have a male brain. You would make a good member of the dominant sex class under patriarchy.
Mostly Bs: You have a female brain. Please make the mostly As a sandwich.